So.. Where Do We Go Now...

In an effort to further improve SAF Ground Infantry out-field performance and tactical movements, the Army are issuing Anal Silencers to every NSmen during such exercises. Spokesperson Prof. Derwhut Dat for the Secret Technology & Utilities Project Initiative Department (S.T.U.P.I.D) explains that, "these new anal silencers will be able to provide our soldiers with much greater cover and concealment than before by muffling sounds emitted during the daily routines of defaeceation, moreover, its built-in deodourizer helps elminate any scent traces that may reveal the tactical position of our personnel." But it doesn't end there, S.T.U.P.I.D are currently developing a flare-supressor to complete the system.

"However soldiers still run the risk of being discovered by the enemy in times of war when their faeces make contact with the surrounding terrain," elaborates Prof. Derwhut Dat, "Such raucous jettisoning of unwanted bodily matter is uncalled for and must be eliminated." Thus with the aid of the revolutionary Anal Silencers, NSmen are also issued Muted Excrementation Silent Stool(M.E.S.S) pills. The result - Stealth Shit.

"We were initially overwhelmed by these painful conundrums, but now we are proud to say that our NSmen will be out there in the field, confident and at ease with their bowel movements," says Prof Derwhut Dat.