So.. Where Do We Go Now...

Ring...Ring...
Hello,
Welcome and Thank you for calling Psychiatric 24hrs Helpline Service
If you are an obssessive compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want.
Just stay on the line so that we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number
to press.
If you are maniac depressive, it doesn't matter which number you dial, cause no one will be bothered to answer...