So.. Where Do We Go Now...

Caution, puns ahead editted, the third pun didn't show up for some reason:

Little Johnny brought a matchbox to school and was showing it around to his classmates. It kept disrupting the class, and the teacher called Johnny over.

"Johnny, what's in the matchbox?" The teacher asked.

"It's a newt," Johnny replied. The teacher was shocked!

"Johnny, how can you put your newt fit inside a matchbox?"

"Easily ma'am," Johnny replied. "It's minute."

* * *

A young city dweller had come to live life on a farm out of curiousity. He had stayed with the family for a few days, and found that the eldest son enjoyed playing tricks on him.

One day, there was a shipment of animals for the family. The farmer's son told the yuppie, "Go over there and herd those cows over here."

The yuppie walked over to the animal transportation cargo crate and opened it, and was immediately chased by a group of angry bulls.

"You said those were cows," the yuppie said to the farmer's son, who was standing to one side and chuckling. "That was load of bull!"

* * *

Mr Caterpillar was on his way home from town when he saw his neighbours, the Bees, driving home.

"Mr Caterpillar!" Mr Bee called out. "Would you like a lift back?"

"Sure, my feet are tired," Mr Caterpillar said, getting into the Bees' car (probably a large Volkswagon beetle).

On the way back, however, the car ran out of gas. Mr Bee got out of the car, saying, "I'll handle it." He walked to the gas tank and peed into it. He got into the car, started it up, and they were on their way home once more.

While they were halfway back, the car stopped again, out of gas. This time, Mrs Bee got out and peed in the tank, and they were back again on their merry way home. Once more, the car stopped again after running out of fuel, and this time Junior Bee got out and peed into the gas tank while Mr Caterpillar watched curiously.

When they were almost home, the car ran out of gas again. "I'll get it," Mr Caterpillar said, wanting to contribute to his friends for the ride.

"Oh no, you don't understand," says Mr Bee. "This car only runs on BP."